The Dilemma The Introvert In Me Faces

I started with the idea of writing a poem about it but halfway through I realized I suck at poetry. 😛 So a small paragraph it is then.

It a tough world out there for an introvert. Especially in their professional careers. In today’s professional world each human being is expected to be flamboyant,to be able to to express his thoughts out loud. They need to be this chirpy being who can wow people with his/her charm/personality. An introvert like me on the other hand is the complete opposite. My first instinct is not to talk to a person let alone wow him. I rather keep my thoughts to myself than say it out loud. Yes nowadays introverts are asked to learn how to act extroverted in certain situations and balance the introvert-extrovert time in our lives. What the society doesn’t understand is how tiresome it is to do so. I am mentally tired by the end of the day having to act extroverted throughout the day. To some extent I have been successful in balancing the extrovert-introvert act but given an opportunity I would love to drop the extrovert act altogether.

Society including most people are hypocrites, even I am not an exception. And it is in our nature to be so. We say be who you are and don’t let people sway you. But do we really allow others to be who they are. We jump at the first chance to judge others. Where is the live and let live in this?

I will go on and list out a few traits of mine and i am pretty sure its common to most introverts.

  1. I am not receptive towards new people. This trait comes across as arrogance to others but trust me it is not. I don’t like people in general and take some time to warm up to them. I strongly dislike being in group of people. A group according to my eyes is just chaos. I know it hard to imagine it that way. But it is for me. My thoughts get clattered.and I basically lose my peace of mind when I am in a group.
  2. I don’t like to be social or go to social events. I am not asocial, I am just selectively social. To go to a party where you will hardly know anyone and smile, it just comes across as fake to me. And to top it off I have to smile throughout that party. No thanks. I rather stay at home.
  3. I don’t like talking much. I don’t talk much with my old friends too. No, it doesn’t mean I don’t care for them. Its just being me. It is often perceived as not caring and forgetting them but if you could understand me, its quite the opposite. I dislike small talk and see no point in ‘hi, how are you?’. Believe it or not I don’t even talk to my parents much. No. I am not a loner and no I am not depressed when you find me not talking even when i am around people. I am being who I am.
  4. I hate birthdays. Not only of others but even mine. I don’t see whats the big deal about it. Its just awkward for me to call people on their birthdays.
  5. Speaking of calls, I am not a big fan of calling either. Whenever anyone calls me I spend a good few seconds thinking how should I respond. Receiving a call is never my first voluntary reaction. Wondering why the person has called me and what i should be speaking is… So to those who wonder why I don’t call, I am just being who I am.

The list might as well go on but my point is – are the people around me really ready to accept who I am? The answer is sadly a NO. If I be who I am I will be termed a loner, under depression, arrogant, lazy and whichever other synonymous adjective there is. To make myself be heard and be a extroverted fellow or to be just myself – That’s The Dilemma The Introvert In me Faces!