Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me!!! Yes today I am officially 22. I must admit it doesn’t sound as cool as saying I am 21. Doesn’t quite ring the same bell in the ears. Anyways, hard truth is that I am 22 now, a year older, one more year taken away from my running around days. Feels weird to think of it in that way. I never have been too excited about birthdays, especially mine. I always see it as another day gone by. But this birthday holds special place in my heart. Because this birthday marked a changed me, different from my old self.
Things are bound to change in life. That change can be viewed by comparing, by retrospecting on the time between two significant life events in our lives. In my life it happens to be the period between my 21st and 22nd birthday. A lot has changed and ‘a lot’ doesn’t even begin to define the depth of change that has occurred in my life as well as in me. Its a kind of ‘this time last year’ kind of case. So this day last year, I was in love. I was friends with a girl whom i thought to be the most awesome person in the whole world. I was going through ‘you spin my world right round right round’, ‘I’d catch a grenade for ya’, ‘All I ever wanted was You and me’, ‘Coz you are amazing just the way you are!!’……… I have always loved the feeling of being in love. It just make you wake up every morning with a smile on your face. You look forward to each day enthusiastically. It just changes your life in so many ways. We had this wonderful dinner that day. And life couldn’t have been any more amazing.
Fast Forward eight months. I had turned into someone I myself was finding hard to recognize. No where near who I really am. Regular fights and the stress had turned me into someone I never want to be again. Relationships turned sour and my heart was filled with hate.
Fast forward four months. If my maths is right, it is today. 😛 A changed person. Of course it didn’t happen overnight. It took its fair share of days. But I am glad t occurred. I am in love again. But this time its with myself. I have learnt quite a few lessons
- ‘First learn to love yourself, Only then can you love others!!’
- ‘Everything in life comes with an expiry date. So be prepared.’
- ‘Learn to let go.’
- ‘Always have the feeling of love in your heart. Even for those because of whom you have been hurt. Because life is not meant for hate.’
- ‘Smile. Just because it feels good to be you.’
I have tried to inculcate these lessons to the best of my capabilities. I have risen above hate a great deal. Not completely but surely. I have no ill feelings for the girl whom I loved from the bottom of the heart because if it hadn’t been for her I wouldn’t have been who I am today. Though i no more feel she is the most awesome person in the world but she truly is golden at heart. Of course, I do miss her from time to time but it just shows how much I was in love. I am able to smile more because I have learnt to make peace with the harder truths of life. I am able to look forward to each day because it presents new opportunities to challenge myself, to be able to discover myself. 22 and already looking forward for the 23rd. Its gonna be a hell of a ride.
The line rightly sums up how I feel today- “A Year Older A Lot Wiser!!!” 🙂