Humans, Funny creatures they are!!!

ei

 

It was that time of the year again. My 7th semester exams were just around the corner. As usual I kept asking my friends how much had they covered the syllabus on a daily basis. And not to my surprise most of them came up with, “I have only covered a few topics. A whole lot is still remaining!!” Now having spent so much time in academics you tend to know that more than half of them are lying. They would have covered more than they actually admit to. I was a ‘practitioner’ of such behaviour at a younger age. It has always bewildered me as to why people tend to do so.

After careful and deep thinking as to why I used to do it I have come to know a conclusion that such people are afraid. Afraid of not meeting up to the expectations meted out to them. They fear what people will say about them when they don’t meet up to their expectations. They fear getting mocked upon by the society. They fear having to encounter questions such as, “You had prepared so much, how did you end up getting such grades?? The other guy or girl ended up getting more than you…”!!! We try to find a easy way out of this. And an easy way out is lying you haven’t studied much so that people don’t make fun of you.

It is behaviour like these that make me think humans are a funny creature. Though God created us with a gift of free will as well as the ability to survive independently, we are highly dependent on others, other’s views to be precise, to lead our life. As Neale Donald Walsch said in his book Conversations with God

The more important the matter, the less likely are you to listen to your own experience, and the more ready you seem to be to make someone else’s ideas your own.

It is true at so many levels and I bet each one of us deep down inside us know its true. I again believe that  this tendency can be attributed to fear. We are afraid to take wrong decisions, choices. We are afraid to put the blame on ourselves if things go wrong. We rather prefer putting the blame on someone else for our wrong choices. Hence we tend to go with what others think about a situation rather than being true to what we feel about it. We forget that its our lives and we are in the firing line and not them. They will never be able to gauge what we are going through.

Furthermore to strengthen my case we humans choose to believe in things that makes us lesser of a person than we are. We would believe a person more if he/she is stating the ‘bad qualities’ in us than when they are stating the good ones. We tend to take the ‘bad qualities’ to our heart and always shy away from the good ones responding funnily with a “you are just being good to me”. Why cant we be all the good things stated upon by them?? I personally believe that there no bad qualities. Everything about us makes us who we are, who we choose to be. So if you are choosing something that is perceived by the world as bad then hell to them. You have every right to choose what you believe in, what you believe to be good for you, what you believe would reflect you to the fullest. And this right has been given to us by Him/Her(I have never been able to make up my mind on that).

God gave us the ability to speak, but we prefer to be dumb. He gave us the ability to see, but we prefer to be blind. He gave us the ability to listen to our heart, but we prefer to be deaf. He gave us the ability to love, but we prefer to hate. Isn’t it funny that we are doing things quite opposite to what we were created for??

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5 Reasons I should have a Girlfriend and 4 Reasons I dont!!

                                                     ggg

The other day someone enquired on my Facebook chat whether I was still single. I answered with a dejected yes. I have been single all my life.. It sucks at some times but at other times its pretty good. Some of friends find it strange that I never had a girlfriend. I have been thinking about it and I came down with a few point as to why I should have a girlfriend and why I don’t.

Reasons I deserve to be happily committed

  • I have got a Good Height. Yes I am tall. 6’2 to be precise. That acts as an advantage among the ‘traits wanted’ list of girls with regards to their dream guy as I have come to know.
  • I Care.  Care is my middle name. This is the trait which I used to truly believe would land me a girl. But it hasn’t happened till now.
  • I am a Smart Speaker. And by a smart speaker I mean can talk about most topics as I have a tendency to learn about new things.
  • Quite embarrassed to say this but I believe I am quite a Romantic. I know my friends will make fun of me but I truly believe I am one. I am always filled with crazy yet wonderful ideas I would do if I had a girlfriend.
  •  I have got a Good Sense of Humour. I believe I am quite witty and have the capability to make people at    least smile during any conversation.

 

Reasons I am still single

  • I tend to get a bit Over possessive  at times in any relationship.
  • I am not your Tom Cruise. I am not that Good looking. God blessed me with many wonderful things but looks aren’t one of them. And whatever people may say girls do prefer a good looking guy over an average one.
  • I am a touch too emotional and sensitive. I know being emotional is good but I tend to go a bit too far with that.
  • I am too nice a guy. Some of you may wonder that its not a negative trait but it is. I advice people not to be too nice else either people take advantage of you or you fall into the dreaded friend zone of a girl.

 

I guess I have analysed it pretty well. Hopefully I will be committed before I am shipped off for marriage. Till then I am single, ready to mingle!!! 🙂

How Does it feel To Live in a Haunted Neighbourhood?!?!?!?

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Creepy, huh?

So a funny thing happened with me this morning. I opened my Facebook account and found out that my friend had posted a picture on my wall. It showed that the society that I am currently living in happens to be in the top 10 most haunted places in India. Apparently, a man had committed suicide in some building in my society and his spirit has been roaming ever since.  Now how do you react after knowing that the society that I spent my whole life in is haunted?? My first reaction was to smile. You know its kind of cool to know that its haunted. Now I can brag about it to others. I can exaggerated the story a bit and tell it to my friends. And before I forget the story is bullshit. My society consists of in all 100 buildings and, that too cramped close to each other. And what my experience tells me after watching loads of horror movies is that ghost don’t tend to stay in crowded places. Most of the haunting occurs in secluded, isolated places. And believe me my society would be in the last place in the list of secluded places if there is one.

The photo succeeded in doing one more thing apart from making me cook up exaggerated stories to tell my friends. It took me down memory lane. I remember when we were kids how we used to make up stories about haunted buildings. I remember one of the story that my friend had made up. The building near our society ground was pretty secluded in the sense that most apartments in it were empty with no families living in them. My friend told that its empty because it was haunted. A worker had committed suicide while the building was still being made and he haunted the building ever since. And as all children are, full of innocence, we believed him. None of us dared to go near building after sunset.

Now 10 years later it seemed so silly. So you can imagine how elated I must have been when I came to know that my society is actually haunted and that too it is counted among the most haunted in India. We had just got the building wrong 10 years ago. I would try to go to that supposedly haunted building late night before my vacations get over. Hopefully I would come across the spirit and if I do I would like to say (yes if I do get the courage)…. RIP Dude!!!

If I could I would……….

  • Get down a escalator that’s going up or vice versa.
  • Go bungee jumping or sky diving.
  • be Batman for one night.  Ya bitches(not intended gender wise) I am your worst nightmare.
  • Be dead for one day and see who all really care.
  • have a floating house like the one in the movie Up.
  • go to every city in the world alone.
  • be a CIA agent and that too of the Jason Bourne breed.
  • Go invisible for a day and rest is up to your imagination.
  • Meet Novak Djokovic.
  • Propose in front of Eiffel tower.
  • Play Eye Of The Tiger in a joggers park.
  • Go watch a United match at The Theatre Of Dreams.
  • Get freshly pressed on all my blog posts.
  • Get 100 followers of my blog.
  • Go to a haunted place and meet an actual ghost (condition if I get out alive after meeting it).

No More A Worry!!!

Why did you play with my feelings?                                       

You left my life reeling

I loved you, I cared for you

But then I came to know that all you care about is you

You let me go, you let me be

Though I never wanted to be

My mistake was I expected too much

Because I loved you so much

But being a friend you couldn’t even fulfil this much..

You admit you took me for granted

You never  asked me what I wanted

I still stood there waiting for you

So stupid not realising that it was not you

You don’t have to worry I will still be there for you

Hoping you would realise what you have done too

The light is getting dim and you are nowhere insight

I no more have the power nor the will to fight

Now its too late for even a sorry

Good for you I am no more a worry……

The story of an abused child!!

Valencia drives forward from the right and crosses…….. Rrroooonnneeeyyyyy!!!!! Scores with an absolute thunderbolt of an header!!! And Manchester United have done it!!! Again!! They have scored with the last kick of the game!! Now nothing can stop them from getting crowned champions again!! Sir Alex has done it…. Again!!!

BEEP….. BEEP….. BEEP… Damn the alarm bell. I was in the middle of my perfect dream. United has just won the Champions League beating Real Madrid. Why, why did the alarm had to go off, I thought to myself. It should have at least waited till the trophy was handed out. I cursed the alarm clock some more. I looked at the time with my half opened eyes. 9:15 a.m. SHIT!  I was late….. again. I was in for it today. I have been late a lot these days. I wouldn’t put the blame on me, at least not all of it. I got up, did my usual every day routine and got out of my flat just in time for the 10:00 am fast local.

11:55 am. Aah!!! Just in time. 5 minutes late and I would have had a earful today. I made my way to my cubicle and as luck would have it bumped into my boss. Though he didn’t say a word but the look on his face said it all. I sheepishly sat down on my chair trying to avoid eye contact with him. The morning, or should I say what was left of it, went by as usual, the usual morning coffee, catching up with my colleagues, going through the paper. For everyone’s information, I worked at Excel Ad agency. quite a boring job to be absolutely truthful. In the afternoon our boss called us in for a meeting. After 5 minutes of hustling everyone settled down in the meeting room. My boss proceeded to announce that we were given a new assignment.. We had to design an Ad campaign for an NGO, Pratibimbh, regarding child abuse. The moment I heard the word child abuse, something happened. You can call a flash from the past. Fear, anxiety, sadness. I don’t know what exactly but something took over me for those 10 seconds and clearly left me shook up for the rest of the day.

6:00 pm. Time to leave. But it wasn’t the same like everyday. Something was different. Something was wrong. And the worst part was I didn’t know what it was. I caught my usual 6:30 pm Thane local. Luckily I got a seat by the window. I was quite tired today, emotionally as well as mentally. I rest my head against the window, closed my eyes. I let the air gushing in from the window play with my hair. I let myself go.

There I was. A 10 year old kid sitting and crying at ‘my spot’. The place where I found peace, the place I went to whenever I felt like running away. It was another one of those nights. My Dad had come home drunk, out of his sane mind. He beat me up for no reason at all and when my mother intervened he didn’t spare her too. I just ran out of my home. This time I was sure I was going to do it. I was going to run away for forever. I ran went to the abandoned building which was ‘my spot’. I went there for two reasons- one because it was a secluded area. I could be in my own world. Second because beyond that structure one could see the whole city. Watching it gave me hope and strength that there was just more to life than what I was running from.

This blatant abuse was not new from me. Difference was that earlier I was a spectator. Now I had become a part of it, physically. I was 8 then. My Dad was always a drunkard. He had a violent streak about it. He used to beat up my mom every other day. I used to cry whenever it happened. As I grew up I thought why did my mom still stay with my dad. She was a grown-up. She could go away unlike me. Each time I cornered her with this question she only replied with a heart wrenching you don’t understand, you are still a kid. I felt miserable at those times. I couldn’t do a thing about it. I couldn’t right the wrong. At first when my dad started abusing me I didn’t what to do. My mom always protected me and afterwards always consoled me saying it was going to be all right.  I always asked her when? when will it all go away mom? She could only say, with tears rolling down her cheeks, pretty soon my son, pretty soon. Initially she was the thing that kept me going. She was the reason I made myself believe everything’s going to be fine in a few days. She was my strength.

Two years passed. The abuse reduced. I finally started believing the horror was on the verge of ending. But then the unthinkable happened. My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and three months later she passed away. I couldn’t even cry as I saw her going away from me. I couldn’t imagine a life without her. Fear, sadness gripped me within its clutches. I didn’t know how I would manage. I couldn’t run away because my mom had made me swear that I wouldn’t run away. I couldn’t dishonour her after all the things she had done for me.

The thing I feared most became true. My dads abuse went to a whole new level. I got beat up everyday. Some day I felt so much anger, disgust, contempt that I felt like retorting back to him. But I knew I was no match to him. In addition my mom had told me never to let these negative feelings get the better of me. I was a bigger, better person than these. This stopped me from doing anything that would fill my life with regret. I had reached my limits. I had to find a way to cope up. That’s when I made my imaginary world.

My world had me and my mom living alone. There was no dad. And there was no reason for me to include one. Because I had never seen a loving dad. I made this world my safe house. Now I never waited for my dad to abuse me. Whenever I knew it was going to be one of those days I just went to my spot before I had to face my dad. I looked at the vast expanse of the city and then towards the sky. I knew mom was watching me. I went into my world. I lived my perfect life there. I was happy there.

Next Stop…. Thane… I opened my eyes. I had just lived my past in my present. I was no longer restless. I was at peace. I relived the things which I was trying to forgot and to a certain extent had forgotten. I got down as the train came to halt at the station. I got out of the station and as I exited I looked up into the sky still knowing that my mom was watching over me. I knew I had made her proud. I had beaten my past and moved forward. I no longer needed to visit my world. I was free………..

lll

Its Gonna Be Fine!!!!

The above statement is one of the biggest lie you will hear in your life and probably the most too! The truth is its not going to be fine. Now by that I don’t mean forever but for at least that moment. The moment when we really are the most vulnerable after we encounter pain. I personally feel that saying “Its going to be okay” doesn’t actually help with the situation. At least not for me. It didn’t give me hope or strength as some say they do. I always felt that it would have been much better if someone told me “C’mon dude!! this shit ain’t nothing!! U handled bigger shit than this!!!”. Now that’s what I call giving strength to face a crisis. Make a person believe that he has the power to handle what he is facing currently rather than just playing with words. I mean deep down inside we know its not going to be fine. We will be feeling miserable for the next few days or weeks depending on the grief. So whats the use saying or admitting its going to be. I believe its better just to be grief stricken for 2-3 days a stretch rather than prolong it everyday. Move on once and for all. I know its not as easy as typing these words as I myself have my experiences. But its worth giving a shot. Till then to every grief-stricken soul out there “Its Gonna Be Fine” 😉