The Dilemma The Introvert In Me Faces

I started with the idea of writing a poem about it but halfway through I realized I suck at poetry. 😛 So a small paragraph it is then.

It a tough world out there for an introvert. Especially in their professional careers. In today’s professional world each human being is expected to be flamboyant,to be able to to express his thoughts out loud. They need to be this chirpy being who can wow people with his/her charm/personality. An introvert like me on the other hand is the complete opposite. My first instinct is not to talk to a person let alone wow him. I rather keep my thoughts to myself than say it out loud. Yes nowadays introverts are asked to learn how to act extroverted in certain situations and balance the introvert-extrovert time in our lives. What the society doesn’t understand is how tiresome it is to do so. I am mentally tired by the end of the day having to act extroverted throughout the day. To some extent I have been successful in balancing the extrovert-introvert act but given an opportunity I would love to drop the extrovert act altogether.

Society including most people are hypocrites, even I am not an exception. And it is in our nature to be so. We say be who you are and don’t let people sway you. But do we really allow others to be who they are. We jump at the first chance to judge others. Where is the live and let live in this?

I will go on and list out a few traits of mine and i am pretty sure its common to most introverts.

  1. I am not receptive towards new people. This trait comes across as arrogance to others but trust me it is not. I don’t like people in general and take some time to warm up to them. I strongly dislike being in group of people. A group according to my eyes is just chaos. I know it hard to imagine it that way. But it is for me. My thoughts get clattered.and I basically lose my peace of mind when I am in a group.
  2. I don’t like to be social or go to social events. I am not asocial, I am just selectively social. To go to a party where you will hardly know anyone and smile, it just comes across as fake to me. And to top it off I have to smile throughout that party. No thanks. I rather stay at home.
  3. I don’t like talking much. I don’t talk much with my old friends too. No, it doesn’t mean I don’t care for them. Its just being me. It is often perceived as not caring and forgetting them but if you could understand me, its quite the opposite. I dislike small talk and see no point in ‘hi, how are you?’. Believe it or not I don’t even talk to my parents much. No. I am not a loner and no I am not depressed when you find me not talking even when i am around people. I am being who I am.
  4. I hate birthdays. Not only of others but even mine. I don’t see whats the big deal about it. Its just awkward for me to call people on their birthdays.
  5. Speaking of calls, I am not a big fan of calling either. Whenever anyone calls me I spend a good few seconds thinking how should I respond. Receiving a call is never my first voluntary reaction. Wondering why the person has called me and what i should be speaking is… So to those who wonder why I don’t call, I am just being who I am.

The list might as well go on but my point is – are the people around me really ready to accept who I am? The answer is sadly a NO. If I be who I am I will be termed a loner, under depression, arrogant, lazy and whichever other synonymous adjective there is. To make myself be heard and be a extroverted fellow or to be just myself – That’s The Dilemma The Introvert In me Faces!

Dying With Dignity : Why Euthanasia should be legalized?

I am sure some of you might have read about Brittany Maynard, the 29 year old woman who was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and subsequently decided that she wanted to die on her own terms and time. She called it “Dying WIth DIgnity”. Euthanasia is quite a sensitive topic in itself and her act just added to the furor especially in the religious circle.


I have read comments ranging from ‘she has no right to decide when to die when God has given her the life’ to ‘is taking ones own life really a death by dignity?’. The former argument seems completely void and illogical to me. Yes I am a thiest but No I don’t think anyone is doing a crime by taking their own lives and No they wont face consequences in their afterlife if there is one. The latter argument though caught my eye. I first came across this point of view in the following  blog :

The writer points out the view whether taking one’s own life really a dignified death. Does fighting till the end makes the death undignified? I can see where he coming from stating the examples of people who in-spite of knowing that they have a limited time fight or at least be with their loved ones till the end. He proceeds to say that fighting till the end really shows what human worth is giving the example of Nelson Mandela and holocaust survivors in the process.

I on the other hand still differ. Yes people fight till the end even when they know there is no hope left for them. I have read stories about holocaust survivors who didn’t have a single ray of hope but still fought on. These are stories which fill you with hope and make you realize what willpower is all about. But I still don’t think euthanasia disrespects the deaths of those who battled till the end.

Brittany’s mother describes her as having a ‘larger than life’ attitude and it is safe to say she was true to herself till the end. She wanted to die in her own terms and not go through the pain the remaining days would have given her. She didn’t want her loved ones to go through the pain either. And the fact that she did it doesn’t make her a coward according to me. If I was in her shoes I too might have done the same. If the doctor gave me 1 year to live I would very well not want to spend the last six months hanging on due to meds and surgeries. I would like to go out when I am still able to have remember the memories of my loved ones and talk to them. Yes it is scary but its still dignified. I too would want to die on my own terms when faced with such a situation.

Everyone should have the right to choose their deaths when faced with a terminal disease. No it doesn’t make them a coward for not facing up to their problems. It makes them humans, for being scared of what they and their loved ones have to go through. And no God doesn’t judge you based on that. Having the power to decide one’s own death and acting upon that should be a right of every human in this world. It is as much a dignified death as fighting till the end.

I can only imagine how difficult the last night would have been for her and her loved ones. RIP Brittany Maynard.

“I hope for the sake of my fellow American citizens, that I’ll never meet, that this option is available to you. If you ever find yourself walking a mile in my shoes I hope that you would at least be given the same choice and that no one tries to take it from you.”   –  Brittany Maynard

I Love My Country But…..

I love my country. I really do. I love its diversity. I love its crowded (read overcrowded) streets and buses. I love how we use ‘jugaad’ in our daily lives. Yes its not the most ideal place to live. Yes its frustrating to live under corrupt governance. But I still am proud of it. I still want to belong here. BUT I am running out of patience. Not because I don’t see change and neither because I stopped believing in it. I am running out of patience because I am seeing it with my eyes that people don’t wanna change. It makes me sad and angry and host of emotions I cant even really explain. These are only few of the many incidents.

We pride ourselves on our culture. The famous saying ‘Atithi Devo Bhava’. We pronounce it with our chin up. But the recent Delhi Metro incident just shows how shallow and plain stupid we can be.

This is what we mean by Atithi Devo Bhava!
                                                       This is what we mean by Atithi Devo Bhava!

What do we pride ourselves on? How educated are we really? Doesn’t our conscience even prick us a little bit before acting so inhuman-like or have we become so numb and devilish that such a act seems to be fine in our eyes.

I believe in our current Prime Minister. I believe he can bring about a change. I can see his vision. But do we really want to see it along with him? The very morning he set about launching the ‘Clean India’ campaign the same night I could see people littering up a cricket stadium as if it was perfectly normal to do so. And when questioned the answer we get is ‘maza aa raha hai’. And to make matters worse a police official was sitting in front of us and he didnt even utter a word. Yes there are cleaners in the stadium but when we ourselves can avoid messing up a place then why mess it up at all? The stadium has got toilets but just to save time people pee on the walls of the stadium in some dark corners. Again the question is – ‘Are we really educated?’ Why does it seem okay to us to commit such acts?

In the same match, I was again embarrassed at being an Indian looking and listening to the crowds behavior whenever an girl came to stands to sit in her seat. The hooting and the comments passing just shows why we are unable to stop rapes happening so frequently. Even if you were there in my place you could feel the heinous behavior of the crowd. The only thing one can do is go up to the girl and say sorry for what she has to go through even though you weren’t a part of it because above all we are Indians first. Why is the re a need for us to objectify women? Are we such a sex obsessed nation? And again the question is – ‘Are we really educated?’

Even with the noblest of intentions and vision Mr Narendra Modi can’t change India if we as individuals don’t change our mentality.I am sorry to say this but one man can’t bring about the change. The thing is we are just taught to be literate BUT we are never really educated.

Lastly, I love my country BUT……..

Thank You Sachin!!!

As Deonarine bowled a rather simplistic delivery outside off and we saw Sachin going on his backfoot all of us just expected him to cut it for a four like he did twice or thrice that morning. But the ball bounced a bit more than expected and Sachin managed to nick it and Sammy took a smart catch. At that very moment the stomachs of a billion people churned. If there was a Guiness record for the maximum number of people experiencing instant sadness this would be it. There was dead silence for a few moments at the ground having the capacity of 30000 odd people. Even the opposition didnt celebrate much. I feel the opposing team too felt sad at having to see the great mans back. As Sachin made his way back to the Pavilion the crowd forgot their sadness and thanked him for all the moments of joy he provided. There was a raptuous applause for a man who meant so much for them. For me personally i was left teary eyed and a smile on my face. I was left reminiscing about the times he made me cry. Not because he got didnt play well but because the umpire got out. I remember crying everytime he got out and asking my mom to bring him back to bat easily blaming my mom for his dismissal. He was the reason I was passionate about the game. As he reached the dressing room my heart yearned to say one final time .”Mom please bring him back to bat once again…”

It was fitting for him to possibly end his batting career on the day he made his debut 24 years ago. And from a billion of us… Thank You Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar..!!!  :’) It will never be the same again…..

Cricket will miss you!!!


Thank You Peta India!!!


To the sometimes ‘seemingly long’ morning meetings,

To the fuss towards the lunch food,

To Jalaj’s awesome slangs,

To Trapi’s obsession with diet coke,

To the addiction towards candy crush,

To getting the daily dosage of the Big Boss house,

To the Timely updates of Pankhudi,

To the love of classy food of masterchef,

To Neha’s proudly flaunting her new watch only to damage it a week later,

To the irritation towards mehboob and love towards chingu,

To the 18 cats and 1 dog,

To my two greatest nemesis (they know i am referring to them),

To a less shy me from a very shy me,

It has been a rather wonderful 1 month

It did went by fast but I learnt a lot

And at the end of it I only have to say

Thank You PeTA India…….





7:27 am ki CST local!!

“Har train ki kahani hoti hai

Kyu ki har train kuch kehta hai..”

Don’t be too flabbergasted. These are my own words and I and I alone am solemnly responsible for the outcome of the words. Its a known fact that local trains are a lifeline for the mumbaites. And who so ever is a regular traveler gets settled into a fixed time table of catching the same train each day. That particular train becomes our comfort zone. One fun thing about the trains is that you get acquainted to the fellow travelers who have the same train in their comfort zone. And you come across some beautiful stories not necessarily personal. You just be there and you get familiarized with a pattern. For me it is the 7:27 slow local to CST from Thane.

I am pretty sure there are peculiar stories in each of the 12 coaches. Get on the first coach and you will come across a bunch of working people who seem long lost friends though they have know each other through train acquaintance only. You will hear them converse like boys in their teens. Its actually nice to see them enjoying themselves given how lonelier we get as we grow up. Get on the second coach and your ears will be treated to bhajans. Word of advice : If you want a quiet peaceful ride then avoid this coach else you are most invited to board this one. The fourth coach is a perfectly normal coach barring an old man sitting by the window and working wonders on a small 4×4 drawing paper that too with his nails. He goes on with his works as the train trudges along with impeccable creativity. If it was for me I would call him a genius. He makes you wonder how many more such geniuses are hiding in such train compartments. The old man looks so happy while doing it and who wouldnt when one is doing what he is passionate about.

I am sure there are many more such stories for me to discover on that train. I hope I can cover all the 12 coaches someday… 🙂

Have Less Regrets, Go the Economist Way!!!

Economics is a game of choices and so is life in a bigger sense. So it isn’t mad science that we can co-relate the two. And there is this basic terminology in Economics known as ‘Opportunity Cost’ which basically sums up basics of economics. Opportunity Cost is nothing but the alternative forgone for the choice you end up making. In simpler words, you can’t have it all as they say. You can’t look right and left at the same time while crossing a road. Its either the right or the left. So while you are looking at the left your opportunity cost at that time would be looking at the right (which might be matter of life and death 😛 ).

So to get back onto a serious note, we are bound to have regrets don’t we ? We regret not eating that pizza and having to end up eating that bland salad. We regret not going out with friends and having to end up at home during the weekends. One way to have less regrets can be looking at the opportunity cost of the decision you are about to make. I believe its will remove a lot of your regrets.  You won’t completely remove all your regrets but it surely will give you a lesser number of them. But if you end up not studying for the test just because you thought the opportunity cost of playing on your console was higher then obviously you didn’t think it through an economist way or there is some problem with comprehending logic.

So to have a rather enjoyable and regret-less life think like an economists and always be on the look-out for the opportunity cost… 😀 😛


P.S : Don’t end up like this!!! XD